What is a real relationship, or most important?
Authentic life-giving relationship
Why are the relationships not working?
1. They don’t give their real self; they act like in a movie, make shows, or give different versions of themselves…
And that version is configured by traumas so that it protects us from getting hurt again…
I participated in many self-experience groups, with encounter/bioenergetic for an entire weekend…
And I heard again and again, I know you better than my husband which I have married for 10 years, and that after one weekend.
And if we don’t start a relationship fresh, with no past experience that influences our behavior, we will end up in the same relationship from which we separated…
So we should assume the best about our new partner, not hide or cover up our emotions…
The reality is, we don’t want to get hurt again, so we like to protect ourselves, and giving just a little bit more might be dangerous…
You never can be loved when hurt is an option…
If you just open your heart just a little bit then love is no option.
The level that you are vulnerable is the level that you experience the love…
Which personality you are bringing into the relationship? The broken wounded, needy, pessimistic version of yourself?
Or you start new… Remember Nelson Mandela was 20 years in jail.
Nelson Mandala asked himself, ” Do I want to let go of all the pain and suffering, forgive, and start new? Or do I want to hold on to my past and live in jail?
2. First, we have to heal the wounds inside to start a new relationship…
And that needs time…
We need time to care for ourselves for our well-being…
We are not bringing our full selves into the relationship, be it intimacy, love, friendship, or business, when we allow our traumas to guard us.
We don’t tender to ourselves to heal our wounds.
3. We don’t love ourselves, we can’t forgive ourselves and so we can’t really love another partner.
4. The relationship reflects on ourselves, and how we deal with our spouses so we treat ourselves.
6. How harder we work on ourselves, so better the relationships become.
First, heal yourself.
Face your traumas.
Face your shame.
7. What to do?
Analyze the negative patterns that you repeat in relationships.
And fix them instead of repeating them.
The cause of these negative patterns is traumas or suppressed negative feelings.
You come limping to love instead of leaping to love.
What you scared that you need at most …
This intentional time to heal, and to question yourself.
Intentionally time with god, and counseling
If you don’t do so you attract what fits your traumas, to heal them…
And not what fits you, what you can love most…
We have so many traumas inside of us…
We address only the traumas we are facing now in the relationship or wherever…
And so a therapist is necessary.
And you don’t care in which relationship you are, perfect or imperfect, and make the best out of it…
Instead to wait for the perfect relationship.
My Video: Why relationships don’t work out? https://youtu.be/2WZ76rMTVt4
My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast4/Why-relationships-don’t-work-out.mp3