If you honor God or if you afraid of God how can you love God?
(from Attar one of the greatest Sufi, he wrote this in his famous book: “Conference of the Birds”)
[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left” font_size=”20″ font_font=”Verdana” font_style=”normal” font_color=”%23ffffff” font_shadow=”none”]1. The journey begins when we start a personal relationship with God. So that we feel that there is somebody we can relate to. A common prayer that we repeat again and again will never help us much. Actually, I never have done it, I don’t pray, because of Osho, my first Guru, was totally against it…. We communicate with God as we communicate with a spouse/friend or with our parents. That is what I do!
2. We build up an intimate relationship with God. If we see God as the one who is doing everything; after Hindu scripture, everything that is created or moves is the action of God, without God nothing can happen. Then it is quite simple that we give God the responsibility for everything that happened or is happening to us, good or bad. Here comes the trick! We also have the right to beat up and to abuse God for the bad things that had happened or are happening to us…. I know what you are thinking, in the end, everything that is happening to us has a reason and is even good for us… And we should be fully responsible for our life…., but in this case, it is not helping us. So we assume that we don’t know what is written in the last sentence (Don’t be wise!) … Only so, we finally have the right to beat up and to abuse God for everything that has happened and is happening to us…. After the law of polarity, and this is even psychology proofed through Encounter Groups, if we release our negative feelings, the positive feelings must come… Otherwise, we didn’t release enough our negative feelings…. Make a list of every negative event of your life, that you can’t bear and blemish God for it with all of your negative feelings …. We assume that you have time for it at least three months. Stay busy; with laziness, nothing can be achieved.
3. In the end, you will love God…. And you will understand that everything was for the best. This time you really feel it!
4. Attar described, again and again, the example of great human love and didn’t discriminate so much between a great human love and love of God. Attar saw that an outstanding human love was a must to develop a love of God… Where there is love, there is God, or love is God. (Bible)[/text_block]
The problem is that the devotees of God want to start with the End! Instead of building up to a truly intimate relationship. And then at the very end, love for God comes by itself.
[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left” font_size=”20″ font_font=”Verdana” font_style=”normal” font_color=”%23ffffff” font_shadow=”none”]Now I should tell you something about me. When I got the Kundalini, I also got the connection with God even though I was a stout atheist.- That was a huge problem for me.
1. I got my spirit name from Bhagwan: Ganshyam. The meaning is A name of God. And I should be an answer for God…. To be total in every action and to surrender without any condition. I was furious with this name because it didn’t fit me.
2. Then we had a great love affair, and I had my first God experience when we were making Tantra.
3. Then terrible things happened to me: Our baby came too early; separation from my darling, final separation of my family, lost my Job, lost my community.
4. In this time of agony, I did exercises for my spiritual path like crazy and meditated a lot… then the Kundalini was awakened. Also, God came into my life.
I tried to ignore God and praying for me was not possible, because of my idea that only cowards pray. I went on long retreats for nine months that included silent meditation, and isolation. Somehow the quote from Sri Aurobindo (see at the beginning) made sense to me… so I was beating up and abusing God like crazy…
Then we, my friend and I, went to the concert of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan… I saw an energy ball coming towards me, and it entered my heart when we were waiting for Nusrat in the auditorium.
I got such a huge pain in my heart that I thought I would die… Nevertheless, I decided to surrender to this situation. Nusrat started with his devotional singing about Ali and Allah. I got a Satory… I could not understand his music, and I didn’t enjoy it.
My friend bought all his CD’s and gave copies to me.
I heard them again and again, and then I started to repeat the name of Allah.[/text_block]
First, build the relationship with God and then start with Japa (repetition of the name of God) otherwise Japa will not work!
[text_block style=”style_1.png” align=”left” font_size=”20″ font_font=”Verdana” font_style=”normal” font_color=”%23ffffff” font_shadow=”none”]After a half year, I was for 3 months in trance just through the name of Allah. Afterwards it changed to Kali.[/text_block]