Inspired by Jay Shetty and Esther Perel
How do you know when to leave your relationship?
How do you know when it can be saved?
Should you stay, or should you go?
Both answers already live inside you — and whichever choice you make, the other one will still haunt you.
If you leave, you may think you’ve lost something valuable.
If you stay, you may feel you’ve missed the chance to find a better match.
Every decision comes with loss and consequences:
The grief of not trying everything to improve the relationship
The hope that things will get better over time, thinking this is just a crisis
The regret of your own mistakes
Or the regret of not leaving sooner
Some breakups are extreme — they can ruin your life. In these cases, it can resemble an addiction: relationship addiction.
How Can You Save Your Relationship?
It’s not only about the other person — it’s about you.
Anyone can improve a relationship. There are countless strategies that work.
If you change for the better, your partner often follows. Relationships are interconnected — your actions shape their responses.
If you stop responding to certain words or behaviors, your partner will eventually stop repeating them.
The key: You must change.
Ideally, both partners should explore body-oriented and emotional therapy together. This can resolve many conflicts.
A Simple Starting Point
Ask: What is one thing I can do to improve our relationship?
Do it. Then ask about the next step.
Worst strategy: Trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change.
That always fails.
Why Small Issues Escalate
Minor conflicts often spiral because we misinterpret them.
Example:
You don’t wash the dishes after eating.
Interpretations:
You don’t love me
You want to control me
You don’t appreciate me
You only want things your way
But often, it’s not about the dishes at all — it’s about recognition, respect, value, trust, or closeness.
Instead of taking it personally, just do the task or find a shared solution.
Example: Cooking Messes
If your partner always leaves a mess after cooking and refuses to clean, you need an agreement.
In one case, frying with overheated oil on a gas stove without a lid caused dangerous splatters in a wooden kitchen.
The solution? Either cook more carefully or don’t fry at all.
In relationships, sometimes you must give up power and practice humility.
Giving Space and Learning from Each Other
Let your partner express their creativity and do things their way — you might learn something new.
Even if you’re the more experienced one, give them the space to explore.
Personal Note
After completing the Kailash Kora trek at 5,700m, I realized something: if I could take it step-by-step there, I could survive anything — even a year of a roller-coaster relationship.
What doesn’t kill you truly can make you stronger.
Two Types of People in Relationships
Those more afraid of losing the other — fearing abandonment or rejection.
Those more afraid of losing themselves — fighting for their identity and ideas.
Most power struggles are not really about power.
Power is just the defense mechanism. The control battle hides a deeper fear.
When people are afraid, they fight. The issue is not the fight itself, but the fear underneath.
Always look beneath the conflict.
Ask: What am I really afraid of losing here — control, connection, or myself?
My Video: When to leave or quit a relationship? https://youtu.be/AokAJRc8JcE
My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast5/When-to-leave-or-quit-a-relationship.mp3