Why Being Hard on Yourself is Killing Your Success
(Inspired by Ed Mylett & Neuroscience)
1. Your Worst Enemy is You
The Mistake: Negative self-talk like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess up.”
The Science: Self-criticism spikes cortisol (stress hormone), shutting down creativity and problem-solving .
Fix It: Talk to yourself like you would to a best friend. Example:
“I messed up that presentation.” → “I’ll improve next time. What’s one thing I did well?”
2. Confidence is a Skill (Not Luck)
The Lie: “Confidence comes from never failing.”
The Truth: Confidence comes from preparation.
Golden Rule: For 1 minute on stage, train for 1,000 minutes (Ed’s 10,000-hour principle) .
Action: Master one small skill this week (e.g., eye contact, storytelling).
3. Name Your “Demons” to Tame Them
Your mind has “voices”: The Perfectionist, The Complainer, The Fearful Child.
Strategy:
Notice negative thoughts (“Ugh, I’m so stupid”).
Label them: “Ah, there’s The Hyper-Critic again.”
Thank them: “Thanks for sharing, but I’ve got this.”
Why It Works: Naming emotions reduces their power by 50% (UCLA study) .
4. Forgive Faster Than Anyone Else
Stock Traders’ Secret: The best forgive mistakes instantly—no dwelling.
Try This:
Drop a glass? “I forgive myself.”
Bomb a meeting? “What’s the lesson? Onward.”
Ed’s Hack: “Speed of forgiveness = Speed of success.”
5. Gratitude Overrides Negativity
1,000 Thank-Yous a Day: Floods your brain with serotonin (joy chemical).
Example:
“Thank you for this coffee.”
“Thank you for the traffic—extra podcast time!”
Result: No mental space for self-hate.
30-Second Action Plan
Pause: Next time you screw up, say: “I’m human. What’s the lesson?”
Label: Identify one negative thought today (e.g., “The Imposter Syndrome”).
Gratitude Bomb: Text someone “Thank you for ______.” Right now.
Key Quote
“Self-love isn’t earned—it’s the baseline. You wouldn’t starve a plant for growing crooked. Don’t starve your soul for being human.”
Your Turn: Which “demon” (Perfectionist, Critic, etc.) will you disarm today?
Why This Works:
Brain Rewiring: Self-compassion activates the prefrontal cortex (problem-solving) .
Success Proof: Top performers like Joel Bauer and traders use these exact tools.
Bonus: Try *”The 5-Second Rule”* (Mel Robbins): When negativity hits, interrupt it by counting *”5-4-3-2-1—STOP.”* Then replace it with gratitude.