If we are getting upset, angry, sad or fearful, then we think that another person, circumstance has caused that and so we blemish, complain… Instead of just only to feel that feeling (breath deep in that feeling and with the exhale you release that feeling,- repeat this until that feeling is gone).
On the other hand, there are always people who remain in such bad situation calm or even enjoy it…. After we have released that feeling, we ask our self: What has this to do with our self? Or why we got so upset? Has somebody/circumstances triggered in us an suppressed feeling that has surfaced? Or is this an old unhealed wound from our childhood? Mostly of the time we repeat again and again situation of our childhood and even manipulate the situation to get the same result then in our childhood.
For instance my chief is complaining about me that I am too lazy and that is not true… I get upset, frustrated… and then I remember that my father used even the same words when he was complaining that I am too lazy… Actually it was not my chief who made me upset, it was the situation from my father. If I would have enough self esteem, I would simple laugh and saying: Really? Common who had made all this work here, ….
This simple question, “What has this to do with me/myself?” , will transform every life. It was first applied from The Alcoholics Anonymous and then from the self growth movement, Osho…