I recently could understand why many of my relationships didn’t work out….
The reason is simple my girlfriends didn’t accept my personal boundaries….
Our personal boundaries are our physical, emotional and mental limits. We protect our boundaries because we want to keep our rules and ethics and don’t want to get manipulated or emotionally hurt.
Our personal boundaries:
define to us what we are and what we stand for.
It doesn’t mean that we are not ready to go beyond our limits.
If we chose to extend our limits then it is different from to be blackmailed to change our limits.
A healthy relationship doesn’t exist without personal boundaries. Both have to commit to respect the other limits and communicate their personal limits.
If I am together with a Muslim then I have to accept that alcohol and pig meat is a “No”. That sounds easy, and what is with our personal boundaries? For our personal boundaries, we have to fight… And that is a shame!!!
Many people don’t accept our boundaries so that we have to protect ourselves.
People who have weak boundaries don’t care for other personal boundaries. They think to be flexible is the best even they don’t care for moralities like Chancellor Angela Merkel or Donald Trump. They change their mind rapidly to get the most out of the situation…
What is if we don’t set our own boundaries and love to serve selflessly…
The reason might be, that we are afraid of confrontation or looking for approval.
We can’t do any action without to act out of our self-interest. Some of our self-interests look selfish or selfless… still, every action is selfish. Because every person has an ego.
I love to serve God, still, it is my self-interest, even it might look selfless… it is selfish…. Ramakrishna said: “We can’t destroy our ego. Make out of your ego a servant for God.”
We have to learn to say “No” and we don’t want to become a people pleaser. We want to be an integer person and set our red lines.
When other people cross our red line or to be disrespectful we say confidently that we don’t want that.
We make our own decision for our life and we don’t want to become a slave or depend too much on another person.
For instance, to raise a raccoon… In the first 3 months, a raccoon is like a baby and obey. After 1 year, a raccoon is independent and rather doesn’t care if we call him.
Why can’t a human being not act as an adult when he grows up even an animal can do so?
For an animal, it is a must to be independent and not so for a human being.
What if we have a spouse who doesn’t accept our boundaries?
Everybody likes to have a choice.
And my choice is always when I am blackmailed to end the relationship. Because I think that a good person never blackmails any person, even it is urgently.
My Video: Why we need our personal boundaries? https://youtu.be/Yo8xI3Eb6Vs
My Audio on Podcast: RELAX WITH MEDITATION or see link in the end.
My Audio: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/rudizimmerer/5/Why+does+the+love+end.mp3