The Loneliness epidemic or better isolation is happening right now.
Loneliness is a killer it is like smoking 15 cigarettes a day and can shorten our lives by 20%.
Poor or insufficient social connection is the cause.
Premature death, 29% more heart attack, stroke and 30%
Increase risk for depression, anxiety, and dementia.
One statistic shows if you had with the age 40 to 45 years, twice as many meaningful relationships then you would live 20% longer.
How do we form connections?
Through meaningful conversation, we enjoy the conversation with our new friends.
On the other hand, speaking is silver and silence is gold.
We know superficial conversations are just time fillers and a waste of our time.
People don’t like to get uncomfortable, or anxious when they talk…
In the end, they even forgot what was the purpose.
For what are Superficial talks good?
Only when we enjoy them.
Just to talk doesn’t make sense!
I go straight to the point to get things done or speak about the things that concern me instead of blah, blah.
And that is meaningful.
Vulnerability tends to be the loudest expression we can make…
If you are vulnerable, people will listen to you much more.
Supercommunicators ask 10 to 20 times more questions than the average.
Everybody can become a super communicator. These are just skills.
What is a supercommunicator?
If we talk to them it makes us happy, or we profit from that.
Is a super communicator also a super connector?
Communication is when I have a feeling that I communicate, and you describe it in your brain, so we feel. Then the other person feels understood and so stronger becomes the connection. The opposite is also true the other person doesn’t feel aligned with you… and can’t do things with you.
The first skill is he proves that he listens and understands.
1. Ask a question.
2. He repeats what you have said in his own words.
3. Ask if you got it right.
So then the other person feels understood.
To build relationships is asking questions, so that you can understand the person and the other feels understood, closer to you.
You must be curious to be someone so the other person feels interested.
How does communication work?
1. In Different discussions, we want to solve something or want to understand the person.
First, we ask deep questions about what the other wants to converse about.
Our values, and beliefs, or both…
For instance, What are your beliefs, and values that convinced you to become a lawyer?
Oh, you are a lawyer, what makes you study law…
They match the person and want the other match to them back.
And then you understand what are his motivations… so you can connect.
And the next conversation will be much easier and we can connect…
2. Emotional communication, you don’t want a solution…
You want to share how you feel or other people feel.
Ask do you want to solve that or do you want me to listen to get understood.
Then I can match emotionally this person.
Our breathing synchronizes with our brain waves.
Do you want to be heard, helped, or?
Hugged?
3. Social conversation how we see ourselves in society and how society sees us.
And how we get along with people.
All conversations are negotiation.
First quiet negotiation here is the goal not to win, simply to understand what the other person wants.
We signal to each other that we like us and that we can interrupt.
So that we work out the rules, when we say how we want to talk, with or without interruption
Every experiment is a success.
If you want to succeed with failure, then you win.
If we share our vulnerability and the other does the same, we feel closer.
If the other person doesn’t do so, at least empathy.
My Video: Master the Art of Communication https://youtu.be/TNkwvpA9qjM
My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast4/Master-the-Art-of-Communication.mp3