It is obviously that people love to argue and to fight…
Otherwise we would live in a peaceful world.
Science had proved that during our normal birth, we are going through our worst struggle, fight, trauma in our life. If the birth is an abdominal delivery, the birth trauma is missing and the personality of this child will never get so strong than through the normal birth.
This means we are born to fight and need to fight at least with our ego, in order to get the things done.
This perfect harmony that the (old) New Age movement or positive thinker are proclaiming, will never happen for our species.
Which arguing we should avoid?
Arguing of: we don’t want to lose our face.
We want to feel nearness to the other person and like to destroy the distance to the other personality… In arguing with emotion we feel much more from us and the other.
When we are intimate together for a longer time, then we want distance and start to argue for meaningless things.
We want to be right, and think that we are right, the problem is that both parties think in the same way and maybe only one party can be right….
We want to be better, stronger, smarter, superior than other people.
We want to be the leader… Greed for power.
We don’t want to be alone.
We want to convince, in order that other people belief in the things what we belief is right… because we are not sure what is right by ourself.
We are jealous and then we find fast the reasons for arguing.
We argue out of misunderstanding or misinterpretations.
Maybe our parents had argued a lot so then we follow them up….
We have a lot of tension or anger inside of ourself and release them in arguing….
When should we argue…?
I like to give here some examples, the speeches and fights from Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandala … For sure without them we would live in a worse world.
If we fight and argue fair for our rights or for a better world, for sure that will be good.
Through the exchange of opinion we can grow and learn a lot.
We can get much stronger through arguing. Avoiding arguing for every price will never pay off.
We can find even the best solution for everybody when we argue fair without to hurt the other people.