Now I like to help to improve your relationships!
1) Giving advice without permission…
That stinks. We all have some problems, and we want just to speak about our problems… We need somebody for hearing and not someone for some good advice.
Before we even have finished speaking about our worries, comes advice….
This blocks us to tell something personal.
If this happens again and again with a friend, we need another friend where we can tell personally about something…
Many people don’t like to hear about other problems because they are full of own problems or want just enjoy their times. And these people are not the right spouse or friend for us.
When we like to give feedback, we should ask for permission…
2.) Ignoring or neglecting their feelings
If we are in a close relationship, we should expect that our partner is honest and showing his or her feelings as they are. We don’t want that (s)he is pretending that everything is okay when (s)he feels bad, is stressed, angry, sad… We want to build up intimacy, and so we care for our partner.
At first, we check how (s)he is feeling, and if we feel something is not okay we ask … Are you all right, … And again when our partner is telling us what happens, we don’t give any advice or feedback. Only when we are asked, we provide feedback. We are present and listen; nothing more or we ask for more details that we can understand him or her better. And through that, our partner will unburden his/her problems.
3.) We fail to give feedback when it is needed.
Our spouse wants to solve his/her problems and need our help.
For instance, (s)he is desperate how to solve a problem… And we say; I don’t know; it doesn’t matter; I’ll be fine what ever you chose… In these cases, we show that we have no interests…..
If we don’t know a solution, we ask smart questions to find a solution.
If we think that doesn’t matter, we explain that all the solutions can have the same outcome, and we can’t forecast the future.
If we are fine what ever (s)he chose, we need to find together the solution, or we decide for our spouse.
My video: How to worsen every relationship? https://youtu.be/rRoHQJ1XbGI
My Audio on Podcast: RELAX WITH MEDITATION or see link in the end.
My Audio: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/rudizimmerer/4/How+to+worsen+every+relationship.mp3