I went back after over 10 years to the Ashram in Amritapuri/Kerala…
I was meditating the whole day as usual in the presence of my Guru Amma.
Then I went swimming, the Arabian Ocean was calm and no wave. Somehow, we should not go swimming, but the older devotees like me did that always. Beside that I am an excellent swimmer/certified rescue swimmer/lifeguard.
It was Sunday late afternoon; we had many buses full of Indian devotees in the Ashram…
I swam my 30 minutes… good for my body… And again, I meditated for 4 hours…
In the night my roommate told me, shortly after I left the water; a baby went in the water, when his mother was going to get a ticket for the Guru…
There had been about 200 Western and Indian devotees on the beach…
Nobody cared for that baby and guess…
My roommate jumped in the water, when he heard that there is a baby drown in the water of the ocean.
First, he undressed his white cloth…
The Ashramites were complaining and then he tried his best to find the baby… NO CHANCES!
All of these so holly Ashramites didn’t like to help, they watched the sun set and hindered my roommate to find that baby! … In Germany these Ashramites would go to jail, because they didn’t help or prevented the baby to get drowned! IT IS A CRIME!
Next morning, they put in English everywhere signboards on the beach that nobody should swim.
99% of the Indians CANNOT swim and 99% of the Western people can swim.
For what reason they put a signboard in English: “It is dangerous to swim”? That is not true! I went swimming every day for 10 years when I was living in the Ashram!
Most of all Indians cannot read English nor swim!
Even it is everywhere forbidden in Kerala for the Indians to go swimming because they cannot swim… For Western people it is allowed to go swimming.
My situation was terrible, because people could blemish me that I have inspired the mother with the baby to go swimming.
Then I had to defense myself and to tell the truth… Would never be good, the people would hate me!
I could not stand the whole situation of dishonesty and I left immediately the Ashram when I saw the signboards. It was Christmas, so I went to Varkala, it is close to the Ashram.
A half year later I read the book “Holly Hell” by Gayatri about our Ashram and the Guru… Gayatri was one of the best Sanayasin of our Guru Amma and the personal servant of Amma.
She wrote terrible stories about Amma and our Ashram…
The book became a bestseller!
In India it is forbidden to criticize a Guru. If you abuse a Guru then the devotees should kill you, after the Indian scriptures (Srimati Bhagavatam).
In our Ashram we had to idealize the actions done by the Guru and to rationalize the wrongdoing. So that everything was perfect…
The suicide rate was so high that the government wanted to close the Ashram!
Because we should not speak/care to other people. Everybody should stay isolated.
If you needed help, for sure it was very difficult to get help…
There were a lot of signboards in the Ashram that Western people should not speak or to be together with Indian people!? But I had a lot of Indian friends, so again I didn’t care.
Regardless what a Guru is doing it is divine…?
Because he/she is an embodiment of selfless love…?
I surrender my life to God and I don’t need for that to be perfect! For me is God perfect, and that is enough. And I am happy that God has shown me again that this Ashram is not the place, where I should be!
My Video: Episode 25 my last day at the Ashram https://youtu.be/3rf39AQs0x4
My Audio: https://rudizimmerer.s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/6/Episode+25+my+last+day+at+the+Ashram.mp3