We all are getting attracted to certain people and then we want to be them as our friend, spouse… And then after some or many years something awful happen that we get confronted with something that we thought our friend/spouse will never do… As a therapist and life coach I had to deal with such cases quite often from my clients…. Everybody acts out of his self interest it might be good or bad… This means if we act for instance, total selfless (nobody can do so) then this is also out of our self interest to be a good guy, when we then expect that our friends are doing the same… we are maybe wrong… Maybe we got this friends, because of our great attitude….
If we are changing our life, then it is a must, that also our friends will change…. The old friends or spouse can keep us in our comfort zone, because they don’t want that we change or that we remain the old buddy …. When I wanted to become an engineer, I had to finish my job as a telecommunication installer, to go on school again… and then I lost during the study mainly all old friends; or when I changed my hometown; or became spiritual seeker….
We have already a lifetime friend in us, who like to get discovered from us… We ignore him, and even we neglect, reject, abuse him… he is still there… and is waiting for us…. And only he can help us, protect us and for this, we have to surrender to him… If God wanted a perfect world with perfect friends he had created such world,… God doesn’t want such world, otherwise nobody would think on him, surrender to him … (from the Sufi master Attar).
The Indian thought that Napoleon Hill (his famous book: Think and grow rich) is a saint… because he had so much faith in God, that he could make his lifetime deaf son hear… just only through praying for hours every day… Napoleon Hill could materialize everything that he wanted…out of his faith in God.
After many catastrophes in our life we get open for him, because we don’t see any possibilities in such hardships, so that we feel something is missing… Maybe we don’t get so much hardships if we give time to God in a regularly basis? At least we have something that we can belief in, that is greater then our mundane life… So that we get more detachment … and so more success…